I Read The News Today, Oh Boy

As you may or may not know the story ran in last Saturday's paper and I think it turned out pretty well. Aside from looking like the bad guy in the picture the story was a good read and I learned a little about the whole situation too. Though the position is more than likely lost (I have had people email me encouraging me to take that specific rule to the state Supreme Court) I now have a newly acquired sense for the campaign process and intend on running for something on the next ticket in 2 years.

I feel now it is a good time to say that I intend on using this blog for more than just election and campaign news. If you feel so inclined check back often for my opinions on everything from tacos to trade deadlines. I'm expanding!

Now I don't have any specific subject in mind right now so let me just vent about how STOKED I am that the A's traded for Matt Holliday today. For the first time since Jason Giambi (the rent-a-Thomas/Piazza tries don't count) Oakland has a legitimate big time slugger. This also leads me to believe that Beene and co. are looking to open up the wallet a little bit and dig this team in to contention for the AL West crown for years to come.

I would like to thank the Mariners for locking up all their show-ready prospects in a pipe dream (Bedard) and making the Glendale Angels of Burbank just that much closer to grab on to and climb over. Is it April yet?

In a related story, I hate football.

On a weekend where Penn State suffers a loss to Iowa, the Chargers have to squeak by Kansas City and the Ducks need the only complete drive of the season to pull out a win over Stanford all I could do was nap. I think I've had enough of high hopes crushed by injuries and hiccups, cold games in the rain, 2nd and 3rd hangovers of the day, and Al Michaels. Baseball, you now hold the top spot with NBA coming in second. Football, you're going to stay at 3rd now but expect a drop out of the top 10 if you wrong me again.

With A Whimper

Just like that, it's over. There is a regulation preventing my votes from even being tallied. Apparently to have your votes counted and be considered for elect you must register with the department before October 21, would have been nice to know that a little earlier.

So my budding political career is experiencing a little hiccup on the first attempt, this will not stop me from pursuing a future elected position so I still greatly need your support. I now realize that with a little more planning I can actually win something running unopposed. Getting me one step closer to my goal of bringing a major league baseball team to the Portland market.

Though I am unable to actually secure the position (through this process, at least) the Oregonian article will still run and I'll keep everybody posted on when and where exactly you can find it.

Thanks for the support and GO BLAZERS!

What If?

I just returned from my first official interview and I've already found out that there is in fact someone running against me. So now more than ever, I need your support!

The interview went well, very well considering that I had some pre-game nervousness going on as I approached the restaurant. But once I arrived I settled in and put the game face on I was golden. Laura Oppenheimer is the writer who interviewed me and I must say that I know little of her work but should she ever run for public office I would give her my endorsement. She was very engaging and before I knew it I was settling in to a comfortable conversation that had very little to do with soil and/or water.

The focus of her story is more along the lines of "what if?" or "why not?" Not the hard-hitting political machine that the likes of Larry King and Bill O'Reilly led me to believe was the standard. No doubt an interview with either of those two would result in my limbs being torn off and a mental breakdown that even Johnny Drama would respect. The viral video that would undoubtedly result might produce a moderate amount of internet fame but my political career would be deader than Shaq's acting career.

As I ferociously made short work of my dumplings we discussed how I came about making the decision to run and how I felt about the political process. I don't want to give too much away as the article is tentatively slated to print on Tuesday but we had good conversation throughout the entire meal.

On a side note: If you ever have a chance to check out Steamer's Bistro (SW 5th and Madison) you will find a rare occurrence of sauce abundance. Too often am I faced with more pot sticker than sauce and I am very against that. If this water and soil thing doesn't pan out I'm going to focus my next candidacy on creating and directing the Sauce, Spread and Dip Commission. Shout out to Tom in Doncaster, England who I now see is a follower of this blog.

This weekend proves to be pivotal as I hope you all get out there and recruit people to my cause. It's going to be a crazy week next week and if there is any hope of an election party I need these votes to come it. Because, why not?

On The Record? Yes.

With my first official media exposure (the Gianola MySpace nod by Willamette Week doesn't count) hopefully coming up tomorrow I found it fitting to start an official all-encompassing blog to shamelessly plug in the interview. For those of you still catching up I'm being interviewed by a reporter from the Oregonian about my budding illegitimate political career. Things are about to get interesting.

Before the official interview I would like to get a few things on the record to eliminate (or confirm) any suspicion that I have changed directions drastically from one moment to the next. Here are some questions I expect to be asked and my responses:

Are you serious?

Not really. I'm not convinced that they would let me occupy the position based on my last minute write-in campaign. I really just want to be able to brag about being elected to public office, how many people do you know that can say that?

With that said, if elected and actually asked to fulfill my duties I would take the position seriously and act accordingly to the best of my abilities. There is some worry in me that I would not be taken seriously (probably a reasonable impression) and that would limit my ability to actually perform the tasks asked of me.

What makes you qualified for the position?

Very little. I haven't had any kind of environmental education since maybe high school biology and I think I got a C.

I am, however, infinitely more qualified than nobody and by definition would be equally as effective as nobody if elected and never showing up. I am pro-environment so that should answer any questions about the direction in which I would vote.

Are you intentionally making a mockery of our political system?

Maybe. It is in my opinion that the political system has unintentionally made a mockery of itself so I'm really just riding the wake in the name of humor. I haven't experienced it yet but someone is bound to get really mad at me, but that's kind of the point. If you think you are more qualified (you probably are) then why didn't you run unopposed?

It is similar to why I tell people I'm voting for McCain, getting a political rise out of someone is starting to gain the intensity of some of the more heated sports rivalries. I am all for that.

What is the goal of your campaign?

If it were a paid position I would claim to make a difference but secretly be in it for the money. But since it's not I really just want to shake the tree and see what falls out. I doubt I'm the first and I'm most certainly not going to be the last so if I come out with some answers and a good story I'll consider it a success.

I will post again post-interview.